Talk to Yourself How You Would Talk to a Friend

A lot of times individuals with ADHD, and even individuals who don’t have ADHD, can engage in very negative self-talk. With ADHD some of that negative self-talk can be about symptom frustration, or due to rejection sensitivity dysphoria. There’s a lot of different things we can do to help stop this negative self-talk. One technique I enjoy is asking these questions to ourselves: 

If you heard your friend say all this negative stuff about themselves, what would you say to them? 

What would you do if you heard them say these things? How surprised would you be? Do you believe it? 

How do you talk to your friends? How do you cheer them up? How do you comfort them? 

All of these things that you would do to help your friend, say to your friend, and believe about your friend- how can you apply them to yourself? Talk to yourself the way that you talk to your friends. Be kind to yourself. Be friends with yourself. 

What’s stopping you from treating yourself the way you treat your friends? What can be done change this? 

What’s the rationality behind the negative self-talk? Is the way you would talk to your friends, or the positive self-talk, rational? What is rational? 

How can you stop these negative self-talk spirals and talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend? 

What are some things you can do to cheer yourself up? What are some positive affirmations you can tell yourself? What are some things you can do to ground yourself and be present? 

How easy is it to be friends with yourself? What makes it a challenge? What can be done to fix the challenge? 

If you’re feeling stuck on what to say to yourself to get out of this negative self-talk spiral, have you talked to your friends about these negative things you say to yourself? What do they have to say about it? How can you remember the things they say the next time these thoughts creep back in? 

Be your own best friend. Have your own back. Of course, it helps to have other friends and have each other’s back, but it’s also important that you be friends with yourself. Be kind to yourself. 

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